I don’t understand physics Honey I honestly don’t know either where are we going with this one I know I’m just curious a bird can fly why can’t I fly sweetheart a bird has wings why do I get a pair well you can’t just make them you gotta be born with them airplanes can
Fly yes but they’re more Hollow on the inside am I Hollow on the inside no honey we’re filled up with organs and blood and lots of water and and Cheetos yes you are filled up with Cheez-Its and graham crackers right now in this moment I’ve cracked a case what
Honey I eat Cheetos and graham crackers so I can’t fly birds eat bugs so they can fly so now I just gotta eat stuff that can fly and then I’ll be able to fly okay are you hungry you should make me some chicken s can’t fly but they have wings I’ve
Cracked a case yum Few moments later I’m going shut up let’s doing number one gross number two I’m cooking your food so you don’t starve and die whoa hold the Tube dude I would make my own food but you don’t let me near any of the electrical appliances again with the coffin just
Just cover your mouth you’re gonna contaminate the grub if you were gonna get sick you’d already be sick here can I help oh my God why would you do that why would you touch why would you touch the raw chicken with your grimy grimy hands you just can’t touch your face after you
Touch go wash your hands go wash your hands go wash your hands eat raw pork don’t put that in the cat what else do you want from me sweetheart these are simple things that you need to do so you don’t die I myself coughing honey are you doing this out of spite had a spy yeah it looks like we’re out we got Coke or Pepsi though do you want to eat or not Oh hi can I please see a doctor sure thing if you wait in the first room the doctor will be there shortly I don’t feel so good yes how can I help okay well first off I think I broke my arm in two places don’t go to those places
Okay and it hurts when I touch my shoulder don’t touch it and my back hurts when I wake up in the morning they just wake up in the afternoon no okay that’s my time for today so it’ll be sixty dollars sixty dollars but but it didn’t even help me and here’s
Your paper I think that’s the reception and they’ll look after you see you later I know a way that we can get McDonald’s oh how McDonald’s sounds so tasty right now all you have to do is just trip over this you’re gonna get hurt but you’re not actually hurt at all and then mom’s gonna have to drive somewhere to get
Something for your leg and then on the way home you’re gonna ask McDonald’s and she’s definitely gonna say yes for McDonald’s because you’re the youngest okay I’m gonna do it right now she’s hurt she’s hurt oh sweetie are you okay how did you do that I tripped over this Summer and now my leg is on now we gotta go get something to ride your leg right now a few moments later is that wrap helping your legs sweetie I’ll take a 10 piece mom I’ll take two Double Quarter Pounders please are you hurt no you have money no I don’t have
Any money well there’s food at the house dang it I don’t like today why did she get in I can’t it’s because she’s hurt I’m so glad I don’t have to get at home oh no one of the doctors said I had hearing loss what do you want do you
Want to explain why the trash hasn’t been taken out yet oh yeah I forgot my bad so you’re okay with living in filth then look I’ll do it right now if you get off I don’t want to hear it who even raised you what the you
Excuse me I mean you did raise me I’m not wrong am I hello oh I’m sorry son I didn’t know you were fluent in disrespect how is that disrespectful because you’re trying to imply that I’m a bad parent I’m not saying that I’m just trying to reason
With you then don’t be disrespectful and don’t ask that question you know what I’m gonna catch your father honey I’m not your honey I am not your honey stop calling me that our son over here thinks I’m a horrible mother did he actually say you were a horrible mother oh no
Okay problem solved I’m going to bed I can’t believe this who would marry someone like you I mean you did technically huh yeah I need a drink so do we what wait Olivia hmm what when you copied my test did you change some of the answers no you’re like so dumb everybody not
Available or because you post the next shot then decided to copy I think it’s just a coincidence you think is mind telepathy we’re just so Instinct like Bluetooth and Miss Johnson we studied together so who copied who great minds think alike right and Ava was going on this is
The first time I see you do this is there something at home huh is everything okay at home yes okay if it didn’t happen again you both are getting a zero how about that what all right Dylan it’s a Thursday so kids under 10 eat for free so when we go in there
You’re nine years old capiche Mom I’m six four I really don’t think that they’re gonna believe that oh trust me they’ll believe it they’ll they’ll believe it three hours later hello I’ll be starting you two off but what can I get you guys well I’m only gonna get a
Water but uh my nine-year-old son is gonna order some more food hi um I’d like two steaks a lemonade um on on one stick I wanna side of mashed potatoes on the other I want a side of green beans wait Dylan is that you bro wait who Tyrese from middle
School eyebrow this is not what it looks like I am not trying to get that that nine-year-old discount my mom was joking around we’ll pay him for it hey hey this this man too poor to afford to mashed potatoes he’s trying to say he’s nine years old bro that’s going to
The group chat that’s going on Instagram I have three students here who are in trouble all right I’ll just go through them one by one why are you here I threw my desk out the window during a test that’s fine we’ll just buy a new desk
You’re good all right cool moving on why are you here I pulled the fire alarm during class as a prank you actually got me out of a really boring meeting when you did that so you’re good all right thanks G all right and why are you here
Oh I was caught eating food during class you were caught eating what during class food what else would I be detention for eating are you kidding yes you should only eat during lunch when we feed you you want me to eat that the food you serve us is inedible oh please you can
Eat it no we can’t it’s not like we’re giving you prison food you know I read prison food is actually better so so you’re saying this school is a prison now huh the way you’re running it yes you know what you just got another detention hey you can and that’s three
Don’t stop four keep it up I’m just gonna keep adding detentions all right Detention why because I don’t like your face huh oh my gosh look at how cool this bike is I really want it oh that is a really cool bike wait a minute that’s 500 mom’s not gonna buy that but this bike would be so much fun to ride around and we
Could share it oh I have such a good idea let’s just say it’s on sale she’ll have no idea yeah yeah yeah that’s such a good idea yeah let’s say it’s like a thousand dollars and this is a once in a lifetime deal such a good sale okay
Let’s go let’s go a few moments later Mommy Mama Mommy can we please get this bike no know you guys have so many toys and that looks very expensive that bike is on sale this is like a once in a lifetime sale it’s on sale are you
Joking mommy the original price is a thousand dollars this is a really good deal I do love a good sale yes I do I’m the sale Queen I guess you guys can get it only because it’s on sale thank you oh my God don’t you oh my God me
I’m tired of picking you up early from daycare but it wasn’t my fault then whose fault was it then not mine if she would have moved it she wouldn’t be in the hospital in the hospital said that Monday was my day to be the lion leader right hey everybody knew
That except Tracy except twice okay so it was time to line up she stood in the front like she was the queen you could have politely asked her to move I did I said if you don’t get so stupid self to the back I know something that’s
Not nice shut up and then she said what you know she said that yeah so I showed her what I knew what did you do I put peanut butter in her ham sandwich okay well yeah that’s not too bad she’s allergic to peanuts a knife what lemon lemonade lemonade come get your
Lemonade excuse me what is this I’m selling lemonade lemonade yeah I’m saving up for a new bike oh I wasn’t aware I’m required to subsidize that you want some I think I’ll pass the number of health code violations I’m seeing is astounding Health what and do you have a
Permit to be operating here my mom said I could set up in the driveway your mom doesn’t make the rules okay the HOA makes the rules and the HOA specifically prohibits solicitors so listen what oh my God my mom says you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain I think your mom
Should focus a little less on the Lord and a little bit more on her Landscaping I help my dad mow the lawn sometimes you’re adopted I’m leaving You what I just found out that I can’t get a Happy Meal here yeah probably because this is a grocery store and not a McDonald’s My Little Timber is hungry and she wants a Happy Meal but you don’t have them here once again because we’re not a McDonald’s this is unacceptable
Pardon me there’s a McDonald’s down the road if you’re that desperate for a Happy Meal no not there needs to be one in the store while I shop otherwise it’s inconvenient Walmart does it isn’t it Walmart make mckimber a Happy Meal right now as punishment for not being a
McDonald’s well had there been a McDonald’s in this store to begin with we wouldn’t be any in his mess now wouldn’t we ma’am I am barely paid enough to care let alone build a branch of a fast food franchise in here take it up with someone with an infinitely higher pay grade goodbye All right class today we’re going to be doing a little bit of popcorn reading so Jonathan you’re gonna start us off and then after you’re done pick someone new sounds like a plan um the blue bleep it’s the blue hat Jonathan are you missing a chromosome genuine question
I’m being totally honest because in my 48 years of teaching I have never met a student this stupid calm down you’re the one who wanted me to read um the blue hat was sit sit sitting on the dress dress Jonathan you’re dumb you’re done pick someone new and have them read all right
Um mark you you read out of all the people in this classroom you choose me to read well Jonathan I’ma choose you to be something as well Hey Mom can I go out for dinner with my friends yeah whatever you mean right I ain’t going anywhere unless you figure out another way to get there you are not going hey Mom can I please go out and see my friends of course sweetie go get the car
Keys and I’ll drive you okay Mom can we get some McDonald’s on the way as well okay I’ll drive us to McDonald’s and you can have a meal can I please go to my friend’s house have you eaten your vegetables yeah yeah I did have you finished your
Homework yes I finished all my work I’ve been a good boy hmm no mom why because sweetie you’ve been a little sh and as well as that you took your brother’s chocolates well I’m sorry I didn’t know it was his well that’s not good enough you need to go home and
Clean your brother’s room what but Mom no butts hey Simon yeah dude I want to turn on the video game what the no I’m busy right now you know if you don’t share I’m just gonna tell Mom and Dad that you hit me you know they’re not gonna
Believe you right mom why just why what’s all the commotion in here I mean I was playing video games not Simon didn’t like that and he hit me okay look what really happened was no hey little Jimmy wait let me explain you’re grounded what yes you shouldn’t be
Hitting little Jimmy at all I didn’t even hear me out why are you taking aside all of a sudden because he’s only a baby he’s eight he can do no wrong he literally stole your credit card info the other day what are you talking about you know what I’m getting your father
Honey there’s a quiet house too much to ask for these days Simon hit our little Jimmy do you really think dad’s gonna believe well hit my favorite son well that hurt not as much as this belt come here no what hey I like your shirt man oh thanks
My girlfriend got it for me cool you’re still here yeah I thought we were starting a conversation nah I was just giving you a compliment I’m waiting here from my friend got it well I was on my way to my girlfriend’s house just letting you know okay
Nice seeing you man okay but I’ll only stay for a bit I have a lot of stories about my girlfriend I can tell you please man you don’t have to do that I know you want to know I’m gonna be straight with you bro I don’t know you
So I don’t care hey what’s going on finally what’s up you ready to go oh is this your friend yes this is who I was waiting for do you have a girlfriend dude no well I do and I’m not the same man I was before I met her what I don’t
Even know you why would you bring that up because her and I are inseparable or two halves of a hole if you guys really are inseparable can you please leave us alone weren’t you going to her place already I was but I need to stop every time someone
Wants to know about her but I don’t want to know I never did I just liked your shirt so can you please stop telling everybody about your girlfriend because we all did it just get out of here jeez someone’s unhappy they’re not in a relationship bye bye
Her mom the sweats I got so many v-bucks how did you get v-bucks well tells I accidentally found out strategy hard in his wallet that he was hiding in his dresser hey that’s pretty good and I used it I used a credit check card to buy all of them how much did you
Spend on vbox I don’t know but I got like a bunch of skins do you wanna see do you all see my skin or one of them looks like a fish I’m gonna take a look at my bank really fast okay Mom well I’ll show you a lot
Of fish the fish skin on fortnite later then you spend fifteen thousand dollars on V bucks sounds like a lot of money I think no no I just I spend I only have like like 10 million fee buys or something like that you spent fifteen thousand bro why you didn’t come to school
Yesterday oh um I I didn’t really feel like coming to school yesterday so I just I just stayed home bro why you stayed home bruh you missed everything what you mean bro what what happened the principal was in such a good mood that she took everybody on a field trip to Six Flags
Then after that she rented a rocket ship and took us to the Moon and then all the fine teachers started twerking on the moon bro that’s what’s bouncing in zero gravity and then when we went back to school Michael Jackson came back to life and then started
Performing a private concert in the gym and then NBA young boy broke out of jail and came to our school and started performing with Michael Jackson and then NBA young boy and Michael Jackson gave everybody a free autograph duh okay class let’s take this attendance do we have a high Jackalope
No it’s water H2O water get it right I’ll get the next one then we have mad it’s Maddie Maddie of course then we have time no it’s Timmy it says time Timmy time do we have a soft higher it’s Sophia oh then we have rent it’s Ryan
Can you read can you spell oh exactly then we have not cold no it’s hot that’s new then we have Carl Moji Alex it’s Carl then we have Joe it’s Joey then we have Alexis yep it’s normal wait actually no it’s Alex is Diamond
Why do you do this to me what are you doing laying around in bed what else am I supposed to be doing you should be sitting up doing your homework how I literally don’t have any homework but you don’t have any homework yes it’s the
Summer oh well then I guess you can just carry on thank you like I really need the breakfast all right here’s a list of chores that need to be done by tomorrow are you really making me work over the summer I’m not gonna have you laze around this house for the next three
Months so what’s the point of summer break then I don’t want to hear this do these chores now or you’re grounded oh my God well at least I don’t actually have work from school oh by the way I called your teachers and they’re all giving you assignments over the break we
Did what so before the end of the summer you have to complete a packet a workbook three essays two lab reports and if you don’t do them by the end of the summer then you fail what the homework and don’t leave this room Pizza okay Bet mom I was starving thank goodness is pizza hmm sweetie the pizza’s here oh there’s pizza I want the first piece oh I’m so excited pizza pizza pizza Why would you take the first piece of pizza what’s wrong with me taking the first piece you know I like to eat the first piece now I can’t eat this I was hungry I saw the pizza so I took it I like to choose the first piece because
The first piece is the best sweetie I didn’t know it mattered if you had the first piece or not Mom it is a big deal because I really like to get the best looking one look if you’re not gonna eat the pizza we have leftover crop Loaf from last
Night so eat this instead ain’t nobody like crack loaf mom why do you think it’s still there nobody’s eating it Hi there can I take your order um yeah just hold on okay hey babies it’s me Kenzie K and I am at the new Hot Spot in town I’m about to try the coffee means new cookie mint Frappuccino to see if it’s anything like starvy remember to like this video and
To leave a comment if you want me to follow you back okay bye babies hi um can I get the the mint thing of course which one yeah the mint cookie thing oh no no can you use that red cup the one with the this one yeah that one
Right there I just it’ll look better on my Instagram and can you add like the little sprinkles with the cinnamon on top okay here you go oh okay let me just get the features of it okay can you spin it so I can see the label yes
Okay yeah that’s fine thank you that’ll be five dollars oh no I’m gonna upload the picture to Instagram so you guys can get way more business you’ll actually get way more money from me just posting about it so uh no I mean I’m kind of big around here I’m surprised you haven’t
Heard of me I know you guys are new and everything so you’ll learn but yeah I can really help you guys out just don’t make me angry that will be five dollars foreign I guess peace was never an option what do you want can you explain why the
Dishes aren’t done because I was busy doing all my other chores um that sounds like an excuse to me I’m literally doing my job well clearly you’re not doing it well enough okay but you don’t have to yell at me for it Simon I’m your mother I can yell at you
As much as I want and nobody can stop me buddy are you sure about that what are you doing I think I know one person who could stop you from yelling at me no grandma Simon you Pizza why are you yelling at my grandson Mom hi Grandma are you
Yelling at my grandson yes but he didn’t do the dishes like I asked him but he did all this other chores if you ask me I think he deserves a break what yay Simon do you want me to get the belt do you want me to get the belt what the now
Apologize huh do it sorry son oh it’s okay Mom Daddy you serious hair mom why why Billy what I just screwed up oh my God Billy where in the bathroom oh my God Billy are you and in the teaching You what I guess I forgot to find the couch on the on the couch why didn’t you just stay in the bathroom I don’t know I don’t know why I didn’t just stay in the bathroom I well I mean at least that’s the only place that you threw up hey man
Accidentally pooped in the sink boo why how did you what I didn’t mean to it was an accident how how was it an accident if that’s like takes effort to do that oh my God hi I’m here to watch the minion movie uh excuse me young man why are you in a
Suit because I’m watching the minion movie uh okay and how many tickets I’ll have 20 tickets thanks young man why do you need 20 tickets for my friends one banana okay I’ve had enough you need to leave you have no friends and as well as that you’re in a suit and foreign Here’s your tickets thank you here have a banana let’s go guys what hey this is a robbery everybody get on the ground and give me all the money I bro I’ve been robbed by a lot of people in my day but uh you’re not that
Guy and I’m not gonna let this one slide um first of all you’re not even wearing a mask bro like that’s rule number one when committing any crime mask up um and it should be rule number one for you in your daily life because you’re just ugly like personally if I looked
Like that I’d be wearing a mask every day everywhere because I’d be embarrassed you look like the rat from rat of two Libra it’s not pretty number two we both know you’re not gonna pull that trigger but you don’t have any you look at like a whole female over there
Bro like just get out of my bank don’t test me man you don’t know what I’m capable of oh you’re right I I don’t know what you’re capable of and quite honestly I don’t think you’re capable of anything I you’re clearly not capable of getting a degree or getting a job of any
Sort because then we wouldn’t be in this situation if you were you wouldn’t be trying to rob a bank for money and quite honestly I think it’s sad bro like like you got you got nothing for you you know what bro I needed that you just changed my whole perspective That’s the rules we talk about this all the time that’s the rules okay yeah we talk about all this time you’re older whatever but I I just asked Mom and she said I could buy a shotgun you’re literally so annoying I’m getting shotgun I may be annoying but at least
I’m the prettier sibling girls why are we fighting right now Mom didn’t you say you could have shotgun you know what if you two keep fighting like this nobody’s going to the store today so you know what we’re gonna do we’re gonna have to compromise you can have shotgun on the
Way back okay but are you serious right now I get shotgun both ways I don’t want to hear it you do always find shotgun what dang it I don’t like if you’re gonna act like this you’re just gonna stay home today you’ve heard Mom I’m writing shotgun on the way back you
Thought you were well at least I did it first You two give me a headache duh did you go to college no no honey I didn’t go to college why you can have a kid without a degree yeah I mean uh yeah honey you don’t really need any prior qualifications to to have a child you can just kind of do
It you need a degree to teach kids but you don’t need one to have it nope you can just like do it and then you’re kind of just fending for yourself can I have a baby no you may not nope not not now not for like a decade or two
I don’t know I think I’d be a pretty good mama let them do everything you don’t let me that’s terrifying um where what how would you parent your kid honey first they could drive your car great we’re done we’re done with that what else and your diet would consist of
Jelly worms Diet Coke and Skittles okay would you give them water wine why oh makes you happy Yo bro I’m gonna go get something to eat do you want anything yeah I’m a bit hungry you got any fruit snacks fruit snacks nah bro I got vegetable gummies I okay never I I don’t even want to try that um do you got goldfish no I only
Got silver Bears silver Bears bro do you do you at least have animal crackers nah I got insect chips though if you want those insect chips who who thought who green lighted that bro okay scratch food you two at least have like orange juice I got Tangerine water lemonade lime hindrance now
I’m really mad this is causing me physical pain let’s just go to Chick-fil-A nah I only eat at cow caboodle Burger King you mean cheeseburger queen I’m afraid to ask what phone do you have I got an Android I’m dipping no thank you for having me
It was not a pleasure being here bye have a great time principal I have three students here who are in trouble all right I’ll just go through them one by one why are you here I threw a chair at a kid during a test you could have hurt that kid is he okay
Yeah he’s fine just a concussion all right fine I’ll let you off with a warning go all right cool moving on who’s next why are you here I made the teacher cry during class I see teachers cry all the time you’re good all right good looks who’s next okay and why are
You here oh I just left the classroom without a hall pass you left the classroom without what a hall pass detention what the what do you mean I’ll let a salt slide but not having a hall passes where I draw the line it’s not even my fault the teacher
Didn’t even give me one oh really then I’m gonna get your teacher in here right now five minutes later all right principal I’m here who died Simon says you didn’t give him a hall pass before he left yeah of course not that’s stupid but that’s a rule every student needs a
Hall pass before they leave what are they five years old I’m not giving them a hall pass if you have to go then go we have rules I have tenure fire me nice uh mom I missed the bus again you gotta take me to school again no sweetie
I am not taking you to school dang it I don’t like today you know what you’re just gonna have to ride your bike to school because I’m not taking you to school today I don’t wanna ride nobody five minutes later man I really don’t want to ride my bike to school today oh
Wait you know what I don’t even have to go to school because if I ride my bike mom’s gonna think I’m gonna be at school if I can I can just go around the town and just do my own thing and mom’s gonna think I went to school
Not going to school today I’m going somewhere else I guess I go to T-Mobile too expensive can’t afford that I guess I’m just gonna wait here until it’s time to go back home three hours later oh time to go back home so I was riding your bike to school
Today it was all right I bet you’ll learn your lesson I’m not missing the bus now yeah I think I’m gonna miss the bus tomorrow since we’re at the mall can I please get a lemonade no sweetie too expensive really get up off the floor you’re embarrassing
Me I’m not moving till I get a lemonade Mom okay fine we can get a lemonade but I want you on your best behavior yay here’s your lemonade sweetie since you have your lemonade no more complaining thanks Mom I’m not gonna complain I promise it’s later oh Mom I’m so tired of
Carrying this drink around can you please hold it for me no sweetie I’m not carrying your drink around you’re the one that wanted it so you carry it please Mom it’s making my hand cold can you please hold it what did I say about complaining no complaining dang it I don’t
Know you know I’m just gonna go throw it out no don’t throw it out give me here okay here I paid good money for this you don’t just waste stuff like this [Laughter] nice well I found my shoes for school look those look really nice sweetie but I
Want you to try those on to see if they fit yep they fit those look a little tight they look too small let me check to see where your toes are at really Mom you really gotta touch them oh your toes are right there I think you should get a
Bigger size because I don’t want you to grow out of those they’re not too tight I swear they fit fine okay fine well I want you to walk up and down here to see how they feel yeah they’re good they’re good no that’s not enough you need to do a run go ahead
And run yep they fit great so can I get them how much are they I’m not buying them unless they’re on sale they’re 85 but they’re on sale but I’m not done looking I want to get another pair too I’m only buying you one pair of school
Shoes okay you have shoes from last year you can wear really mom’s shoes from last year dang it I don’t want to hear it go ahead that’s fine yay oh I have to come out okay do both sides am I Invincible I’ve been raising my hand just say her name
Miss Johnson and I’m Paige Olivia that was too loud Olivia try a gamble with a lower voice no I’m not trying anything I need to go to the bathroom do you want me to be on the floor okay hurry up and make sure you take the bathroom pass
Where’s the bathroom pass Olivia if it was a snake it would have bit you it’s right there where you have five seconds to grab it or you’re not going anywhere you’re talking about this yep you want me to take this yes what the watch your mouth you’re
Telling me I’m bringing this with me to the bathroom that’s the bathroom pass does it need to take no just carry it with you do you have a different bathroom bus nope oh my God it’s too heavy you know what you’re not going how about that well I’m going how about that
When you fix the wi-fi for your parents hey you having some trouble there thank God you’re here the Wi-Fi is broken again can you fix it okay I can try Careful do you do me Did that work oh my God it’s working you’re a genius how did you do that all I did was unplug it and plug it back in it’s not that hard I’m so proud of you you’re so gifted when it comes to fixing technology you should go to Harvard I
Owe you my life trust me it isn’t that big a deal one last thing the TV is stuck on HDMI one and it’s supposed to be on HDMI 2. can you fix that too it seems impossible ah here we go again oh you’re a genius this my last time asking put the phone
Away I’m putting away no what I just say oh dog just put it away nice straight I got me one too what you trying to do I’m gonna get into it can y’all boys do this when I’m not in here all right I just came to check up on
What’s going on in here oh I was just getting to know the students you know they chilling what are you reaching for no no do you have a weapon in my classroom nah I was just fixing my pants get out my school man you’re fired oh but this
Is my only job I’ma pay child support get out hey don’t let me catch you little boy imma remember that nah made it out the hood now he’s going back that’s crazy what does anyone have a pencil I can borrow or or just uh any writing utensil bro do not say writing utensil
Bro you sound like you’re 60 years old but yeah I got a pen here you go oh thank you so much for this gift I’m overwhelmingly grateful uh uh I I owe my whole life to you calm down bro it’s it’s a pencil you you don’t owe me
Anything it’s not that serious just forget about it now I have to repay this debt to you um tell me what you want and I will supply it calm down bro it’s not that serious wait no I do want something I want a new dad my dad left like five
Years ago so if you can get me a new dad do that three days later oh hey Mama how was your day today my day was amazing honey I even met someone very special uh say hello to my new boyfriend and you’re a new stepdad come in here hi Dill I I
Mean hi son I fulfilled your request this is not what I meant get out of my house no I am doing a survey would you mind answering some questions sure okay thank you thank you do you know muscle uh no okay okay are you carrying any weapon uh
No no okay no no okay if you approach on the street by a robber can you defend yourself definitely not okay good good give me Roblox laughs [Applause] so Derek it’s bedtime hold on I want to tell you that we went to the police station today and they made me an honorary police officer that’s cool and I’ll arrest you serious what I’ll arrest you if I have to why would you arrest I don’t care
You’re my family it’s my job okay well I don’t think I have are you driving today yeah yeah were you speeding no you’re lucky I was about to grab my cuffs were you drinking no hey I’m gonna be back up possible drunk driving here give me that don’t do
That you ever kill anyone sure yeah you’re under the rest for the murder on Call of Duty you’re lucky I was about to take you downtown you know your imagination is really I saw you kissing mom earlier okay was it consensual up you’re going to jail yes it was
Consensual you’re free to go thanks let me ask you this do you still have that Ibuprofen from earlier yeah that’s possession I gotta take you downtown I’m so sorry Derek go to bed and if I don’t I’ll put you to bed that’s a threat go ahead put your hands behind your back
For me Derek take your little ass to bed you just assaulted a police officer here going to jail Derek go to bed nice now I’m gonna give you a choice First Option you kill that man right there and I give you an unspecified amount of money second option wow
Holy you killed him yeah yeah I did can I get that money now please that was so quick like you barely blamed still come on I have things to do let’s go I didn’t even say how much money I was gonna give you oh yeah I guess you’re
Right how much ten dollars all right well money’s money I guess uh thank you for the opportunity I’ll see you later okay oh uh one last thing just out of curiosity what was that second option just walk away and have a guilt-free conscience oh that’s funny man you’re a funny guy you
Know that you’re you’re really funny anyways uh have a good day okay Spike Kevin yeah can you call my school and pretend you’re my mom why do you want me to do that I don’t want to go to school today just call him and say my son is sick okay yes
Hello hi this is Mr Anderson yes it is I’m Lucas’s mum oh hello Lucas’s mum how can I help my son can’t come into school today he’s very sick oh that’s not good well he does have detention today after school can he come to that he won’t be
Able to make that either because he’s got something on really Lucas knew he had detention what has he got on he’s a he’s being baptized no baptized oh it’s good to be home where my ladies at huh hey hey little dude how you been fantastic I do have a question though
Where have you been oh little dude I I’ve been working abroad what yeah that’s really uh important business to attend to abroad it was quite the experience it’s good I I’ll be right back I’m good cookie Mom Mom we have a problem sweetheart hi what’s up what’s up number one Jason’s
Back oh my God that’s today oh my God oh my God yeah slight detail he mentioned he was with abroad probably for what what what yeah he said he had an experience with abroad you stay here hi honey April I missed you so much oh yeah we’ll
Get to the out what about some broad no abroad oh dear God nice yo bro what’s up and this house is massive bro like this is crazy what do you want to do it’s an average sized house for an average sized guy I I’d say that’s pretty average but um you’re
Trying to go for a ride in the Lamborghini arrived like in the bed I I’m down like your dad will take us out okay let’s go Mike manabra he lets me drive the car my my dad lets me drive I we have like 14 cars bro you think he
Cares if I take the Lamborghini out oh yeah yeah I I do think he cares dog we are 12. we are 12 years old bro that that’s at least a misdemeanor if not a felony it’s only a felony if you get caught bro I I don’t have time to debate
With you over this I’ve driven a lot I started driving when I was four I drove the Bugatti for the first time when I was nine but I think I can drive the limbo come on let’s go I don’t have time to waste debating with you I have to
Meet with my uncle Elon later so let’s go your uncle Elon okay let’s let’s find I’ll come with I’ll Trust you let’s go 12 seconds later stop at McDonald’s right now no sweetie we’re almost home I am not turning around we’re not going to McDonald’s dang it please I just really want a
Happy Meal no we have food at the house that you can eat that’s it Mom I’m getting out I’m gonna run to McDonald’s myself so that you don’t want to take me there I hate you mine oh not this again I have a long ways to go but this is
Totally worth it three hours later 12 seconds later almost To McDonald’s I can’t wait to get my Happy Meal what clothes do the toilet paper outage oh I don’t like today all I wanted was a stupid happy meal and I can’t get it now I gotta call mom to come pick me up Mama McDonald’s is closed can you please
Come pick me up right now Bro why do you got beads on your neck take that off immediately but I love my beads you’re you’re the first person to say they look bad but the better question is why is your face so narrow bruh your face is like unproportionately shaped oh my face is unproportionate
Isn’t it oh where’s your grandma oh wait she’s dead she died last week hey fell down the stairs how are you gonna be owing one to stairs bro how are you going to lose to an inanimate object like kdr of zero what I thought we were
Joking why you have to do that in Minecraft you know you know what you know what no where’s your dad where’s your dad oh wait he left the second you turned 15 he couldn’t take you anymore and he did him and your mom were in a perfectly happy relationship until you came along
Then you decided to hit the road you know I haven’t added on Snapchat he added me by search I added him back and he sent me a picture of him with a whole new family and you know what the text on the picture was actually love my kids
This time well at least my dad’s not serving any life sentence in prison right now for shooting someone when your Mom leaves you alone in line oh I forgot something I’ll be right back wait please no next no foreign no God please no uh I don’t have any
Money what do you mean you don’t have any money I’m like 12. I have no idea what’s going on what are you doing in line then you’re holding everyone up my mom just went to grab something she’ll be right back I swear no this one’s on you kid don’t try blaming this on
Someone else but I’m telling the truth you’re here in line with no money wasting everyone’s time what’s wrong with you come on she’ll be back any second that’s it I’m calling the police they’re gonna put you away for a long time kid no please no I’m back hope that
Didn’t take too long you left me here to die emotional damn it and as always it’s Tuesday so kids tend and under eat free that’s why I love this place right right I get it I get it so how old are you he’s 10 I’m 11. he’s 10. I’m 11. you’ll
Be 11. you’re 10. I’m 11. you’re 10. I’m 11. I’m so sorry he’s 10. I’m 11. he’s 10 I’m 11. no are you dumb can you give us a quick moment um yeah yeah I I could just go grab some some hello Mom yes how old am I you’re
11. I told you oh I’m gonna go with it what um I’d like to get some cash out please okay and how much are you looking to withdraw I don’t know like a lot and what’s your name sir Diego uh I need your full name sir are you ready
Yes Diego Raul Gonzalez Mateo Santiago Sebastian Lucas Benjamin Felipe Bruno Leonardo Joaquin Lorenzo Ignacio Rodrigo Simon Mendes what did he say Sanchez serious okay is that all all right the third yeah I’m not seeing anything by that name sir are you sure that you have
An account with us um no no I’m not really no you’re not sure if you have an account I’ll be honest I don’t remember would you like to open one um would it take too long ah it doesn’t take that long sir let’s do it okay what’s your name sir are you ready
Oh hell no hey Ma hey your sister told me that you and Riley are going to the movies later and I thought I’d invite myself along uh no we’re not going to the movies anymore actually oh that’s too bad I was gonna bring snacks I got a potato salad in the
Fridge it’s about to expire oh yeah that’s that’s too bad uh but yeah no we’re not going okay talk to you later bye we’re not going to the movies yeah we’re still going but you just don’t know that we weren’t I told Nona a white lie
Oh wait why it’s a harmless little lie that protects her feelings because I personally didn’t want to listen to her ask 100 questions during the entire movie but I don’t want her to know that oh they okay you ready to go yep great uh how do I look
Great thanks did I do it right do what right a white why I quite lied what good morning everyone my name is Miss Miller and I’m going to be your software today because Miss Johnson is sick Olivia I love your hair it looks different yeah I straightened it
Yeah she does allows it taking attendance is koala here who’s that koala that’s an animal not Hawaii you mean Kayla that’s me what the okay it’s over here it’s Ava it’s three letters Ava sorry Olivia what did she say here if your name is Olivia it’s pronounced Olivia that’s like the
Easiest name in the world it’s beat rice here did she say she’s beating rice you mean Beatrice thank you Mikhail ma’am it’s Michael okay what about slow is that you no don’t look like a child to you Miss Smiler it’s Chloe my name is Miss Miller oops get out really are you
Here it’s Riley just Ika she’s gonna just here Lucas it’s Lucas bro I’m not your brother you know what start grabbing that Thomas up here how about that I’m in hi Mom it’s been a while you need to clean this room right now Mom I just
Got home can I just wait for a little bit it’s the lazy Sun for me oh hell no oh no oh my God where did you learn that I’m learning new slang so I can stay woke why why are you trying to fit in well in order to keep up with the
Young people I had to yasify my language you are too old to be sounding that illiterate Simon I’m not that old you’re ancient you’re just mad because I’m becoming a girl boss I should have just cleaned my room so you see how cool I sound now right no you don’t it’s cringe
Stop it excuse me you’re low-key and uh oh you did not just call me that Dad five seconds of quiet is all I ask are you guys fighting again I wish so why are you guys calling me in here he’s just being an OP because my new slang is
Goals what did he say all right I’m calling the pastor because she’s clearly possessed wait what God Hey where’s the bathroom uh they’re right over there okay thanks no problem hi there hey how can I help you that was just my son you were talking to oh cool
Yeah he’s awfully shy and he’s just wondering if maybe you guys could go out on a little date oh he had his mom ask me out he’s a very shy boy how are we supposed to go on a date if he can’t even talk to me well maybe you can just
Get him out of the house and give him something to do hmm uh no thank you you could at least give him a chance you know if he wants to ask me out he can just come talk to me while the possibility of rejection upsets his
Stomach well if you can get him to come over here I’ll talk to him okay but no breaking my baby’s heart now so sweetie ask so you want to like chill sometime no cool you are what all right class today we’re going to be studying words that end in ing
Anyone want to get us started anyone napping very good little Susie sleeping wow even better Zane great word jogging very good running wow skipping skipping’s fun jumping flying soaring oh wow you guys know a lot of words hand gliding hey that’s pretty good skydiving it’s much scarier
Wow you guys are really smart it’s spelunking silversmithing stereographic aren’t you guys like five years old disengaging non-threatening condescending no overthinking misunderstanding melodramatizing [Applause] you wouldn’t know foreign Just say no all right here we go hi Mom can I hang out with Kevin no you cannot you need to come home and clean your room all right Mom that’s okay my mom was gonna take us to McDonald’s and maybe the arcade as well Are you sure I can’t go I think I can no Lucas did you not hear what I just said Bubba Please Mum I think I’m free now you are not free do you understand now come home I think I did a good job oh well I guess I’ll head off now I’ll see
You later but he’s what hi welcome to Starbucks hey how’s it going what’s your name uh Josiah all right Jebediah how do I spell that what did he say no no it’s uh Josiah Joseph Josiah we only need your first name yeah Josiah one word my name job Joe
Josiah Joseph are you stupid or something what Joe Cipher JJ Shay jojay yep you got it could I get a triple grande caramel latte with almond milk please all right triple grande almond caramel latte coming up you got all that Few moments later it’ll be 6 46 Jeremy emotional damage what the what do you want there are dishes in the sink that need to be cleaned do it Mom no I have a friend here just get Dad to do it uh no that’s your job so clean the dishes or you’re
Grounded oh my God bro you just gonna let your mom talk to you like that yes yes I am nah bro you gotta fight back here I’ll talk to her for you no no no do not say a word to her but please what’s the Worst That Could Happen a lot
So don’t talk to her or else you’re gonna get uh Hey Simon’s mom what uh I just want to talk to you about the way you’re treating my friend over there me here we go yeah I don’t like the way you’re talking to my friend it’s rude
And I don’t think you’re being a good parent so treat him with some respect okay okay sure see I fixed it no you didn’t oh quick question on a belt do you prefer the leather or the Buckle what like for wearing I know silly for hitting I told you it was laughing
When you forget someone’s birthday this is gonna be the best birthday ever yo do you know what today is uh yeah August 19th yeah but do you know what day it is yeah it’s a Friday so what I mean do you know what happened today no but today
Seems pretty boring honestly not a special day at all dude it’s my birthday how did you not know that oh really I must have forgot happy birthday I guess how do you forget that I’ve known you for like 10 years it happens every year I just have a bad memory I forget
Everything I sent you text every day for the past week reminding you oh yeah I forgot I blocked you those texts were getting Wicked annoying you blocked me and forgot my birthday what kind of friend are you well if it makes you feel any better I didn’t get you a gift
Either what that just makes it worse I got you an Xbox for your birthday how could you get me nothing to be honest I knew it was your birthday all along I just love seeing you freak out when people forget get out of my house right now you ruined my birthday what Mommy someone is calling dad’s phone oh what let me see hello hi is Mark there no no he’s not who is this this is Rebecca his girlfriend um this is his wife speaking that’s a damn lie we’ve been dating for a year and a half what we’ve been married for
Seven years you better be joking you tell most monthly anymore and I’m removing him from my Netflix account oh and that Louie Bank he wanted for some reason I want that back got you I just pranked you I’m actually his sister I’ll tell Mark you called that is your brother bye what
You pissed me off I what what did I do um you didn’t make me Latina those are factors sweetheart that I don’t really have any control over thank you very much and I will never forgive you understood why did you say that to me just curious because they are
Beautiful and I look like a gingerbread version a tiny McCormick this yeah honey yes I I understand there are lots of beautiful people in the world but everyone’s beautiful in their own way but I’ve never gonna have that much you are so much wrong but you could someday honey you could
But it’s rude it’s honey there’s good you love yourself please I want to be spicy what no yo bro I’m having people over tonight you you want to come I can’t bro I’m grounded again oh otherwise I would dog weren’t you just grounded for the last like two weeks what what happened this
Time well to start off I have a 98 in math right now so she’s already not the happiest with me I got 100 and everything else but you know I got a 98 it’s not perfect so yesterday when I was coming home apparently I slammed the
Front door you know I tried to shut it quietly apparently I slammed it come she comes out of the kitchen screaming at me and um I said sorry and apparently sorry is uh talking back and being disrespectful so I’m grounded for the next seven years seven years dog you’re
Gonna be 24 in seven years you’re gonna have a wife and you’re gonna have a family dog now she she cannot be doing that to you bro I want you to text her right now and tell her that’s not gonna slide no bro you’re right I’ma stand up for myself
Okay I’m grounded for the next 57 years apparently no friends video games food water sleep air emotional damage I’m literally home alone right now oh I should say a word I’m not allowed to say mom would never find out I she did not just say that
Oh Mom’s never gonna find out I said that why did she say that what should I do now can’t believe she said that oh Pop-Tarts okay nothing in there I guess I’ll go watch some SpongeBob almost home SpongeBob sweetie I know what you did oh hey Mom
What are you doing home so early don’t act all innocent now I know exactly what you said how would you know that I was out running errands but I sensed it moms know everything I know what you said um no don’t lie to me now just admit it
Okay I said it but it was an accident you’re not allowed to be talking like that sweetie I thought you want to hear it Mom I just wanted to try it out I hear you talk like that again I’m taking that phone away dang it I don’t like today
Nice okay for 10 billion dollars would you yes Um no I I didn’t finish the question I listen here there was nothing and I mean nothing that could come out of that little pie hole of yours to make me turn down 10 billion dollars oh even if one random person had to die yes the answer is yes oh okay what what
If it was someone you knew yes take my aunt take my grandma you could blow the block up can you even fathom how much money 10 billion dollars is oh it’s just a hypothetical and if it was a reality I’d be first in line you’re talking about human lives for for 10 billion
Dollars hey hey hey hey guess what I don’t want to guess don’t make you guys oh come on you got to be curious about what I’m going to tell you what I would have did it for five oh all right class we’re at the top of Page Three make sure
Excuse me why are you late oh cause we got a big game today I must have overslept it won’t happen again though all right you’re good go ahead and have a seat and why are you late oh my bad I literally just got out the hospital don’t care go get a note
What what about him look you’re not him okay now hurry up 12 seconds later yeah Mr principal they’ve been disrupting my class can you have a word with them please yeah I got it from here don’t worry uh Mr Johnson I expect way better from you you’re our
Best player and you might be your only hope for winning the state championship this year I don’t want to have this talk again all right get back to class and you my office bro what you literally just let him go why is he not getting into trouble too look are you taking us
To the state championship exactly that’s what I thought now hurry up nah playing favorites this ain’t Fair that’s crazy where are you going I to go out for a bit but Daddy’s home and he’s going to make you lunch okay okay make sure you listen to Daddy and I might bring you
Home a special dessert yay bye Mommy a few moments later Daddy I’m hungry can I have Something 12 seconds later Daddy can I have You’re the best I’m home look what I got for you Mommy I love it so oh did you have a good lunch with Daddy yeah Daddy gave me the best lunch and now I’m ready for the lips hey give me all your money and I don’t hurt you yeah sure I have
Like twelve dollars and then I have a movie gift card thanks um do you need anything else oh my I don’t have a getaway car so oh sure here are my car keys wow um this is a lot easier than I thought is there anything else I can do
Um don’t call the police oh sure take my phone so I don’t call the police well I didn’t even ask you for your phone hook wow hey who’s this girl on your screen oh this is my girlfriend can I have her as well um yeah sure you can
Have her uh it’ll be a little a little weird but uh you know people change we can just like switch identities at this point sure okay you take this bat here’s the hatch sure yeah thank you for giving me your life hope to see you another day three days later all right
Give me all your money and I don’t hurt you you want to be my best friend wait what about Olivia what about her aren’t you guys like best friends I don’t think so and I don’t even have any friends Olivia I thought you were absent what are you doing here I know I just need to talk to someone really quick Really oh hey best friend and you want to know what I heard you say what maybe best friends I don’t even have any friends she has beat rice I wasn’t talking to you uh it’s Beatrice okay you want a cookie I never said that yes you
Did okay how did you hear that hmm am I not enough like what am I to you a ghost and you were gonna replace smooth that thing over there Olivia I was just kidding I’m not a slice of KK well we’ve been day one since the beginning and you know it I
Know so don’t ever say you have no friends because I’m your best friend that’s a mosquito okay you’re my best friend you heard that beat rice I’m her best friend Olivia you need to leave repeat it Ava who’s your best friend you are did everyone hear that okay that’s all I
Have to say Bye Mom I’m gonna start the movie are you ready just wait I’m getting a drink okay are you ready now actually just wait I better go to the washroom first ah three hours later okay I’m ready this movie is based on a true story
About Alfred pickleman as a young boy who mom what you know I can read right oh sorry oh I know that actor he’s from the movie with um ah what’s her name I don’t know Mom that’s gonna bug me what are you doing sorry I was just
Getting a snack what did I miss here I’ll just go back no no no just tell me the guy basically just drove back to his house after getting the phone call oh my gosh I wonder if someone’s gonna be waiting there for him oh I was not expecting that were you
Nice I like your ring oh thank you do you want to know something but promise me not to tell nobody I promise this ring gives me powers really yeah but I can only use it when I’m in danger so yeah she works at the hospital wait you
Guys y’all know my mom was the first person to touch the Sun what no way wait how would that work it was a long time ago but she had this special suit oh but guess what everyone what my mom is getting me an iPhone for my birthday my
Dad invented iPhones what I thought you said your dad worked at McDonald’s no way didn’t I said my sister is the owner of McDonald’s okay wait if your dad is the owner where’s your iPhone I’m not allowed to bring it to school but guess who’s coming over to my house this
Weekend who Ariana Grande there’s no way yeah she’s my cousin oh my God yeah and Taylor Swift is my great grandmother’s daughter sister my brothers You’re so confusing I think she’s lying I’m not lying do you have a picture with her no but I need to say something what is it I
Think my dog can talk and fly you know what I think what there’s something wrong with you Oh hold up wait a minute something ain’t right Hey you added afford a separate order suits and asked me pig set a way over to home decorate what yeah there’s a bonus I brought us two and as we fixed it yeah yeah yeah I’ll get it I’ll get it yeah all right thank you I’ll be back oh damn
What was she telling me three hours later all right I’m back you took it out the oven right take one out the oven the chicken the chicken I put in the oven four hours ago that I told you to take out wait but you never told me that yes I do
Oh are you ready for the after school program yeah change of plans don’t tell me you got kicked out fine I won’t say it Anaya but it wasn’t my I know I know did she just cut me off girl just tell me what happened when I went to the park with
Mom we went into one of the after school teachers all right Mom introduced me to him and he said hi what was the problem his butt smelled like old baby oh no why me fighting for my life what happened after that I didn’t want to be
Woo so I said sir your breath stained I’m not yet that was rude I whispered it oh my gosh then he started laughing like something was funny okay good that means he took it as a joke no that means he took me as a joke that doesn’t sound
Good it’s okay I fixed the problem what did you do I offered him something did he take it no he said he didn’t like that kind well that’s okay at least you tried so I shoved it down his throat oh foreign
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What is ROBLOX? ROBLOX is an online virtual playground and workshop, where kids of all ages can safely interact, create, have fun, and learn. Itâs unique in that practically everything on ROBLOX is designed and constructed by members of the community. Each player starts by choosing an avatar and giving it an identity. They can then explore ROBLOX â interacting with others by chatting, playing games, or collaborating on creative projects. Each player is also given their own piece of undeveloped real estate along with a virtual toolbox with which to design and build anything â be it a navigable skyscraper, a working helicopter, a giant pinball machine, a multiplayer âCapture the Flagâ game or some other, yetÂtoÂbeÂdreamed-up creation. There is no cost for this first plot of virtual land. By participating and by building cool stuff, ROBLOX members can earn specialty badges as well as ROBLOX dollars (âROBUXâ). In turn, they can shop the online catalog to purchase avatar clothing and accessories as well as premium building materials, interactive components, and working mechanisms
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